A hard act to follow

Why trying to top the greatest show on earth with a second rate pop concert was a bit futile

I’d never seen an Olympic closing ceremony before last night (I hadn’t seen an opening one until two weeks ago either) and therefore I have no idea what one should be like.

I also remain unconvinced about the need for one, I enjoy a party as much as anyone, but it seems to me that trying to top the greatest show on earth with a pop concert is a bit futile.

I’ll ignore the fact that I felt confused by the randomness and lack of context throughout last night, and instead focus on the music that featured in ‘A Symphony of British Music’, which was billed as a celebration of the best British music from the last 50 years.

Unfortunately, this ceremony didn’t deliver on that. And it slowly came to light throughout the evening that our most talented performers were, rather unfortunately, deceased, not receptive of this kind of event or just absent.

The music that wasn’t played live and was used to soundtrack other proceedings - Lennon, Kate Bush, Bowie, Freddie Mercury - put the people that were available to shame, as the same old faces were pulled out again and the new faces showed that modern British pop music is in poor health. Where were our world conquerors, Adele and Coldplay?

The whole evening seemed unorganised (disappointing after the smoothness of the Games themselves), plagued by these strange decisions, awkward gaps, repetition, and bizarre song choices.

Was having nothing bands like Kaiser Chiefs and Ed Sheeran covering The Who (who were actually in the stadium at the time) and Pink Floyd good enough for the closing ceremony of the Olympics? Did it appeal to fans of either the coverers or coverees? I doubt Ed Sheeran fans know much Pink Floyd or understood the album cover reference. I doubt Pink Floyd fans had heard of Sheeran before last night. If you can’t get the real thing, don’t bother. And shame on you, Nick Mason.

The Spice Girls seemed to be the main event for many in the build up, so why did they only get one and a half songs? Why give Emili Sande and Jessie J (who never seems to leave our screens) more prominence?

Why did George Michael get two songs, and did anyone even know what his second song was? I’m not sure he even did. Annie Lennox (for some reason in a pirate ship) picked a fairly random song too.

Could Queen not have done ‘We Are The Champions’ rather than the standard ‘We Will Rock You’, we were at the Olympics after all. Why not have Spandau out to do ‘Gold’, another missed trick.

Liam over Noel? Fat Boy Slim? The Who rather than The Rolling Stones? I could go on, but it’s all subjective.

I suppose my final gripe would be the obvious miming of most acts. While logistically it may have made sense, this was supposed to be a celebration of music.

But it’s not all bad, there were some highlights. Ray Davies still sounding good 45 years after writing the greatest London song there is. Elbow proving majestic as the athletes entered. Russell Brand bringing some bizarre ‘Wonka-meets-Walrus’ psychedelia. Eric Idle pratting around and successfully keeping the ‘Life’s a piece of shit’ line in there. The Who closing with My Generation.

Add those moments to the stadium, torch and fireworks once again proving spectacular, the athletes and volunteers clearly enjoying themselves and maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. Worthy of a bronze, but not a patch on the Games themselves.

Corporate indie.

So throw those curtains wide… it's time to write another cash cow

How do you judge when an ‘alternative’ band has really made it big? A number one album? Maybe. A sell-out tour? Possibly. Or is it when they find their cash cow? That song(s) that just keeps cropping up, especially in places that it really shouldn’t.

Advertising, TV montages, presentations, conferences – for me, these are the real indicators of when a band has made it, and by made it, I mean swapped coolness and credibility for fame and fortune. C’est la vie, but can we blame them?

Indie and guitar music dominate these mediums far more than they do the charts these days, with a handful of bands used to such levels that the royalties alone must be a significant part of their earnings.

Elbow's One Day Like This is the obvious example for me, and as we approach London 2012, yawn, we face the prospect of them releasing another, the only difference being that this song will actually have been written specifically for something as uninspiring as athletics, so will surely be worse.

You can imagine the pound signs in certain bands’ eyes as they write new songs with adverts rather than audiences in minds, but I don’t think Guy Garvey had the Olympics, a dramatic finale of Waterloo Road or Holby City, or a montage of the best bits of Big Brother 9 in mind when he wrote One Day Like This, so I doubt their Olympic song will be as inspired, but I digress.

Clearly cash cows annoy me, that much is obvious, so who should I be annoyed at?

Elbow? Like I said I don’t think this is what they had in mind when toiling away for 20 years to make it to where they are today, and everyone gotsta get paid, but they have agreed to their song being used relentlessly and degradingly. They’ve allowed something that, while not the best or worst song ever, you hope meant something to them, to be ruined, squeezed of its sentiment and left as a meaningless cliché.

I’m not just picking on Elbow, there are plenty more out there, you all know the songs I’m talking about, Florence’s You’ve Got the Love cover was an obvious cash cow from day one, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, anything by The Killers.

All have been milked beyond belief. And it’s not just established bands that are in on the act, PR-savvy young bands pop up all over advertising all the time, a good example being the bizarrely-popular Two Door Cinema Club, who were unavoidable in advertising throughout 2011, this list showing over 20 advertising appearances already, such as this one, apparently a Debenhams advert is what young bands aspire to now, yuck.

It all makes me think of this and, while Ricky Gervais is pushing the limits with Chris Martin here, there are people like this surely out there, if not in the bands then around them.

So, if I can't blame the bands, that are only being smart some would argue, should I be annoyed at the users? The people endlessly and mindlessly using these songs. Using a song like One Day Like This is such an obviously cheap and lazy attempt to improve something that lacks heart or feeling that it shouldn't be allowed any more. Can't they just stick to Take That or Adele?

Shouldn't we hate them for thinking a song like Elbow is appropriate to soundtrack soap actors reacting to yet another statistically-unlikely disaster in their workplace or footballers’ faces distorted with agony at failing to make the last 32 of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy?

Or should I just be annoyed at myself? For being annoyed by this, for thinking bands on the left of mainstream should be better than cash cows, that they earn enough money without needing to whore out their songs? For writing this rambling blog?

I don’t know, but I know one thing, I’m not excited to hear Elbow’s song for the Olympics. Why they don’t just trot out the cash cow they have again is beyond me.